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Suspicion of Cheating

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  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
    • I have a good friend and I suspect she is "cheating" with a married colleague at her office.  I put "cheating" in quotation marks because it may not be sexual in nature.

       

      Met up with her a few times and she mentions out of the blue that she has a "boyfriend" of a year or so, something which I was not aware of.

       

      She also mentions in bits and pieces during our conversations that there is a guy boss in her office that has got this thing for her and that he will send her flowers with no card attached as a present for her birthdays.  But she knows it's from him. The guy boss is married and has a young son.  You know something is amiss when girls lament that guys are all the same, with their roving eyes and need to flirt from one girl to the next. 

       

      Why I suspect there might be more to it than meets the eye is that she occassionally tells me she needs to go back to the office over the weekends to work.  And she apparently goes back quite often either on a saturday or sunday.  Yes, to work. To meet up with him, I do not know.

       

      I am her good friend and I do not wish to see her hurt in any way. 

       

      So what should I do? icon_lol.gif

  • caleb_chiang's Avatar
    7,951 posts since Jul '05
    • I don't see any reasons you should do anything since she does not even confide to you about the matter. If you feel obliged, you can advise her it is wrong to do so but you will most probably to be told myob...

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
    • Originally posted by caleb_chiang:

      I don't see any reasons you should do anything since she does not even confide to you about the matter. If you feel obliged, you can advise her it is wrong to do so but you will most probably to be told myob...

       

      I suspect but am not sure.

       

      I cannot go asking her directly if she is having some sort of tryst with her male boss. icon_lol.gif

  • the male yellow bunny
    cuddles's Avatar
    1,884 posts since Dec '04
    • your friend is old enough to do what's good for herself.

      if she's single and enjoys the attention, there's nothing you can do to stop the matters of the heart.

      you can only be honest and tell her how you think. the rest let her decide..

  • Fatum's Avatar
    24,567 posts since Aug '05
  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
    • Originally posted by Fatum:

      these are called ... "promotion farks" ? ... icon_lol.gif

       

      She seems the ambitious sort though. icon_lol.gif

  • Fatum's Avatar
    24,567 posts since Aug '05
    • Originally posted by charlize:

       

      She seems the ambitious sort though. icon_lol.gif

      read: she's probably screwing more than one ? .... icon_lol.gif

  • the male yellow bunny
    cuddles's Avatar
    1,884 posts since Dec '04
    • Originally posted by charlize:

       

      She seems the ambitious sort though. icon_lol.gif

      there you have it.. ahhhaa..

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
    • So nothing I can do to help?

       

      A friend should just see her friend self destruct and do nothing about it? icon_lol.gif

  • deathwish's Avatar
    6,924 posts since Jan '01
    • Mabbe can subtlely hint to her ba like leading a discussion into the topic. Don't confront her just discuss about the issue and both your opinions. U can guide her in the right way but you can't force her to go somewhere she does not want to.

  • the male yellow bunny
    cuddles's Avatar
    1,884 posts since Dec '04
    • Originally posted by charlize:

      So nothing I can do to help?

       

      A friend should just see her friend self destruct and do nothing about it? icon_lol.gif

      I already said.. all you can do is talk to her about it. the rest is up to her.

      you don't have the right to chain her to her house right?

  • sinicker's Avatar
    10,184 posts since Sep '05
    • Originally posted by charlize:

       

      She seems the ambitious sort though. icon_lol.gif


      if she is so ambitious and she knows getting close to superiors will only help her get close to her ambitions... why not!? it'll only propel her further.

      at the end of the day, she'll get her promotion.

      what you can do is drop hints reminding her he's already married, got family & stuff.

  • angel7030's Avatar
    9,852 posts since Jul '07
    • Office affair are very common today. Cos people see each other more often than seeing their husbands or wives at home. Naturally as time goes, feelings rise and that's it.

       

      So dun bother so much, you may loose a friend by venturing into her private life, let her take the medicine so that she will learn naturally.

  • Fatum's Avatar
    24,567 posts since Aug '05
    • Originally posted by charlize:

      So nothing I can do to help?

       

      A friend should just see her friend self destruct and do nothing about it? icon_lol.gif

      yes .... remind her about birth control ......

      it'll be terrible if 闹出人命 ... icon_lol.gif

  • angel7030's Avatar
    9,852 posts since Jul '07
    • Originally posted by Fatum:

      yes .... remind her about birth control ......

      it'll be terrible if 闹出人命 ... icon_lol.gif


      birth control got no guarantee, better is to ask the male to go for insemination.

  • maurizio13's Avatar
    12,378 posts since Sep '06
    •  

      Useless to give direct advice, give indirect advice.

       

      Go concoct some story about affairs with married man, not only does it do harm to her, it also does harm to another innocent party.

       

       

  • Fatum's Avatar
    24,567 posts since Aug '05
    • Originally posted by angel7030:


      birth control got no guarantee, better is to ask the male to go for insemination.

      insemination ? ... wat talking you ? ...

      people talk about chicken, you talk about dog ? .... icon_lol.gif

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
    • Then again, it is not confirmed and I may be reading too much into it.

       

      The male boss might be the one trying to get fresh (CB, family man with kid some more). icon_lol.gif

       

      She might really be working.

       

      I will chat more with her and drop indirrect hints and see what happens. icon_lol.gif

  • RachelSniper's Avatar
    75 posts since Jul '08
    • Seriously, I hate men who use females like used tissues as a sort of rebound, and the worse thing is: the female thinks lowly of herself and is willing to be manipulated.

  • BrUtUs's Avatar
    13,425 posts since Apr '03
    • Originally posted by charlize:

      Then again, it is not confirmed and I may be reading too much into it.

       

      The male boss might be the one trying to get fresh (CB, family man with kid some more). icon_lol.gif

       

      She might really be working.

       

      I will chat more with her and drop indirrect hints and see what happens. icon_lol.gif


      she no bf 1? actuali theres nothing u can do... if she wans to continue wif the boss, the only person who can stop it is still her... if u wan jz ask her on her bf... n ask if its him anot... then jz do some talk wif her abt it... whether she wan to stop is up to her...

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
  • seow's Avatar
    12,215 posts since Dec '04
  • RedizAlertz's Avatar
    1,070 posts since Aug '07
    • Originally posted by charlize:

      Women are actually very fragile creatures.

       

      Despite their ambitions.

       

      Really. icon_lol.gif

      U forget to put " " at the word FRAGILE. 

      Women are fragile by choice.

  • the stifmeister
    fairlady_xoxo's Avatar
    11,351 posts since Jan '07
  • charlize's Avatar
    8,507 posts since Mar '05
    • Originally posted by RedizAlertz:

      U forget to put " " at the word FRAGILE. 

      Women are fragile by choice.

       CB, when I say fragile means fragile.

       

      Oh, did I also mention that women are very gentle creatures too? icon_lol.gif

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