Actually, I dunno by posting is to seek advice, to let it out or both.

I felt awfully tired.

I dunno is cos I dun understand my fiance, he dun understand me, or is it both ways?

Or in a way, I have always been strong, that regardless of what things that may happened, he felt I am supposed to be able to go thru in one piece?

Whenever things cropped up in my life, I told him - he jus nod and nod.

When things cropped up in my life, he told me, I couldn't jus nod and nod, I have to offer advice, help, solve. I am expected to do all those.

When my dad was in hosp after a major op, during xmas time, his mentality was why is he in hosp with me, we should be out enjoying ourselves crazy.

When my sis was in hosp, I sent soup to her everyday after school, he came to fetch me back, but he was constantly nagging why must he always appear in hosp to see me.

All these trips to hosp, visits to my family, I never requested him to do so, neither did I ask.

On my bro's wedding day, he was late by an hour plus, I told him he was lucky cos some of my family members were caught in a jam, thus would be late, meaning he was in time for the dinner. His reply - I am not the groom today, late or not, dun matter.

His sis's rom, he said he thot the time was 9am, but actually it was 11am, we reached there at 830am.

I was once teased and laughed at very badly cos I bought a soft drink for ten bucks when I was overseas with his family.

Recently, I went to the same place again with my family, I bought three soft drinks, my family told me, as long as u r happy, and we are here to enjoy, jus buy wat u wan.

When I got into a quarrel with his fren, he took the neutral part, although he knew well that his ren was at fault. His reason - it's only fair I be neutral, it doesn't matter who rite who wrong, as long as I know u rite, everything's ok liao.

But, mayb he had forgotten, I was close to some of his frenz as well, they told me, he told his frenz I was at fault, it's me being ridiculous.

His fren caused me to have an accident, landed in hosp, missed my first day of job, and I have to resign cos I was in hosp for three months, yet it's my fault.

I went for a short holiday, came back, but felt tired as due to the schedule, I had to be up early during the trip. He nagged and nagged at me saying I was looking so tired and so sian after my trip, said since I so tired from holiday, might as well dun go. He met me the day I came back from my trip.

I was worrying about my family member's medical result, dunno whether op is needed or not, he said I am being ridiculous, why bother to think about these things. It's a major op, can't I be worried?

No hold hands = dun love him.

Too long no meet his family, cos of my work commitments, I get scoldings. And have to drag me go meet them for dinner despite knowing I am very tired out. Ended up, I was on medical leave for a week, cos I caught a cold during that dinner. He jus said who asked you to work so much, see, dun work so much den you won't fall sick already.

I dun work? Is he going to provide for me and my family? -_-"

The following scenario mayb is I myself being ridiculous - seeing pretty gals, or rather those wearing shorts or mini skirts, he will tell me he felt like stopping his car and giving them a drive. See these gals in retail stores, he will say he dun mind giving his entire month's pay jus for a nite with them. I ??? - Once, twice, I am fine; but each and everytime he saw, he must say? Am I being ridiculous or am I just being normal by getting angry?

I seldom turn up for his family gatherings, but he will turn up at mine and started comparing how often he turned up at mine, while I never turned up at his. I will definitely love to say, at least my family treats u like a human being and is courteous to u, urs? Urs either treats me like another vase there or take out on me when they are feeling moody. 

Imagine dining with a group of ppl, when the food is served, esp one that everyone loved, the plate jus go practically empty within a few minutes? When I didn't take any meat, jus take veges, cos meat are pretty high in demand on the table, I was 'branded' as fussy. I didn't want to 'snatch' meat.

These are just Part 1; there are more parts to go~~~~~~~~

you can tell this guy to go fuck spider

complain ,complain ,complain.

please add some kinky stuffs in Part II

sounds like complaining? - Mayb it is.

But to me, ultimately, I dunno if it's I am being taken for granted? That my business is my business, his business is also my business? Or plainly he's pretty insensitive to how his fiancee is feeling?

Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:

sounds like complaining? - Mayb it is.

But to me, ultimately, I dunno if it's I am being taken for granted? That my business is my business, his business is also my business? Or plainly he's pretty insensitive to how his fiancee is feeling?

I duno him, but from ur point of view..i see him as being immatured & selfish.  U'd better think twice abt marryin him.

not i wan to add fire or wat but seriously feel u wun hv a hapi future wif him... even tho u still in 1 piece now but still doubt u will b hapi down the road... go find 1 day n hv a long talk with him... if cannot resolve, its up to u wat type of life u wan to lead.... dun b afraid to step out of comfort zone...

You dont love what love is yet so give yourself a chance and meet new people

just one question..

do u feel happy?

ah girl ah,

Your fiance is a MCP.. you sure or not .. you want to marry him ?

Before marriage.. he so self centered.. after marriage.. it will be worst ok ?

Don't play play.. divorce is a very painful game to play.

He likes to scold you .. put you down.. no show support.. you still blind blind.. cannot ok ?

He likes to roving eyes.. and show blatant disrespect  now... after marriage.. he have extra marital affair with other women.. he will tell you .. " You already know me like this before marriage.. now what you complaining about ?"

Then later married already.. is he going to tell you to stop seeing your own family ?

Your instinct is telling you something is wrong with your relationship, heed that.

 

 

jojobeach, you hit a nail.

He does like to keep telling me he's been like that since Day One, esp his stubbornness nature.

He told me if I can't take it, I can leave. I ????

Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:

jojobeach, you hit a nail.

He does like to keep telling me he's been like that since Day One, esp his stubbornness nature.

He told me if I can't take it, I can leave. I ????

LEAVE~!

maybe i dunno wats love~~

mayb i dunno how to be part of a couple, mayb i dunno how to be a fiancee, mayb i dunno wat's love, mayb...

i felt so low morale now; felt so tired now.

5 yrs... i can count the number of times he's around me offering support with jus one hand..

But I can hardly count the number of times I have to help him solve personal issues, legal issues, work related issues, frenz issues etc.

Isn't Love:
Being there for one another
No comparison
Giving & Taking
Understanding
Doing things for one another w/o having to compare and contrast how much one has done
Loving the person for whom he/she is, w/o changing him/her, be it in terms of dressing/character, just to suit oneself
Love is a feeling, not one dat needs to be explictly said via words or thru physical means like holding hands

M i rite? Or m i plainly just wrong?

 

Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:

maybe i dunno wats love~~

mayb i dunno how to be part of a couple, mayb i dunno how to be a fiancee, mayb i dunno wat's love, mayb...

i felt so low morale now; felt so tired now.

5 yrs... i can count the number of times he's around me offering support with jus one hand..

But I can hardly count the number of times I have to help him solve personal issues, legal issues, work related issues, frenz issues etc.

Isn't Love:
Being there for one another
No comparison
Giving & Taking
Understanding
Doing things for one another w/o having to compare and contrast how much one has done
Loving the person for whom he/she is, w/o changing him/her, be it in terms of dressing/character, just to suit oneself
Love is a feeling, not one dat needs to be explictly said via words or thru physical means like holding hands

M i rite? Or m i plainly just wrong?

There is no rite or wrong in Love.  It's up to individual to judge if the love of their life is worth everything anot.  No matter how much we outsiders can advise u to do..it's always u who wll make the judgement and final decision.

thx thx.

Plainly, I just felt tired out, lost, confused ~ I dun feel much like doing anything.

Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:

When I got into a quarrel with his fren, he took the neutral part, although he knew well that his ren was at fault. His reason - it's only fair I be neutral, it doesn't matter who rite who wrong, as long as I know u rite, everything's ok liao.

But, mayb he had forgotten, I was close to some of his frenz as well, they told me, he told his frenz I was at fault, it's me being ridiculous.

His fren caused me to have an accident, landed in hosp, missed my first day of job, and I have to resign cos I was in hosp for three months, yet it's my fault.

I went for a short holiday, came back, but felt tired as due to the schedule, I had to be up early during the trip. He nagged and nagged at me saying I was looking so tired and so sian after my trip, said since I so tired from holiday, might as well dun go. He met me the day I came back from my trip.

I was worrying about my family member's medical result, dunno whether op is needed or not, he said I am being ridiculous, why bother to think about these things. It's a major op, can't I be worried?

No hold hands = dun love him.

Too long no meet his family, cos of my work commitments, I get scoldings. And have to drag me go meet them for dinner despite knowing I am very tired out. Ended up, I was on medical leave for a week, cos I caught a cold during that dinner. He jus said who asked you to work so much, see, dun work so much den you won't fall sick already.

I dun work? Is he going to provide for me and my family? -_-"

The following scenario mayb is I myself being ridiculous - seeing pretty gals, or rather those wearing shorts or mini skirts, he will tell me he felt like stopping his car and giving them a drive. See these gals in retail stores, he will say he dun mind giving his entire month's pay jus for a nite with them. I ??? - Once, twice, I am fine; but each and everytime he saw, he must say? Am I being ridiculous or am I just being normal by getting angry?

He sounds like a big time mcp. I see a lot of warning bells in the above. He seems to be someone see human say human words, see ghost say ghost words. Plus the part about him commenting on those retail girls - big alarm bell. If you need to go overseas somewhere away, would you be able to trust him alone in Singapore? The fact he keeps saying seems to indicate that it's constantly on his mind. Even if you're in Singapore, you cannot control his every action, who wants to baby a man anyway?

He doesn't respect you man.

Haix.

I am surprise on how long u tahan this.

Sorry to say this, but your fiance puts a shame to man.

 

There's no right or wrong in loving someone, but there are times where you just have to let go, take a step back to relax and think if you really want to go on FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with such a person.

 

To help yourself think through better, write down the pros and cons of maintaining the relationship. But the ultimate question is to ask yourself, why do you love him in the first place.

I got 'ban' from going overseas for more than a week.

I got a job offer to go overseas to oversees the ops of a subsidiary, a very rare chance, but, I got nagged till I got really 'frustrated'.

Den comes the normally gals will do kinda thing:

First cry
Second kick a big fuss
Third Threaten

Sigh..

I truely is tired~~

Jus recently, we both have things cropped up. Him - Family, Me - work.

I shelved my stuff aside, offer solutions and help to him; ended up, I dun expect him to hush and sayang me like a baby facing problems, but he took out on me cos he was feeling moody over the things and jus felt like grumbling and nagging at someone - ME!

Imagine to the extent of, why you taking the stairs here, why not take from the other end of the building? Why you eat mee, can only eat noodles etc?

Arghh!!!

I have my own issues as well, but y is it that when things crop up on both our sides, I have to coax him, offer solutions, help etc while he grumble and nag and find trouble with me?

Why? Why? Why?

Haha.

Very often, we have a choice, but u made it seem to you tht u have no choice but u are suppose to help him.

Somewhat, you are like asking for it?

 

Why I love him in the first place?

Friendly
Cheerful
Always willing to offer help
'Anything' type

But, in a way, all these still holds true, but towards frenz, not fiancee.

I dunno ware Fiancee stands, mayb at the end of the row.

Hiaz.

Sometimes, we need to fall in love with many wrong people in order to find the right one.

It would take alot from you to do the right thing cos you are too emotionally attached to do it.

can't imagine how life going to be if u marry him

 

Calm down and relax.

why don't you try ignoring him for a while, let him know inverbally that you have feelings too.

Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:

maybe i dunno wats love~~

mayb i dunno how to be part of a couple, mayb i dunno how to be a fiancee, mayb i dunno wat's love, mayb...

i felt so low morale now; felt so tired now.

5 yrs... i can count the number of times he's around me offering support with jus one hand..

But I can hardly count the number of times I have to help him solve personal issues, legal issues, work related issues, frenz issues etc.

Isn't Love:
Being there for one another
No comparison
Giving & Taking
Understanding
Doing things for one another w/o having to compare and contrast how much one has done
Loving the person for whom he/she is, w/o changing him/her, be it in terms of dressing/character, just to suit oneself
Love is a feeling, not one dat needs to be explictly said via words or thru physical means like holding hands

M i rite? Or m i plainly just wrong?

OMG, HelloKittyFan. I really feel for you especially after what I've read of your some of posts several days ago. How long have you been in this relationship dear? Sometimes, as days and even years go by, we are subjected to constant "grumbling" of our partners till we are not able to differentiate what is right or wrong anymore just because our other half made it seem like the most natural and normal thing on earth to do. Secretly, we fume and we resent, but are being pardon me "shut the f***k" up by his ridiculous "reasons".

Your list is very good, but have you respect yourself enough to adhere by it?

Originally posted by seotiblizzard:

Haha.

Very often, we have a choice, but u made it seem to you tht u have no choice but u are suppose to help him.

Somewhat, you are like asking for it?

 

 seotiblizzard puts it very bluntly, but it's true.

Mayb I am asking for it; Life does have choices.

But, on the other hand, Life doesn't leave much choices either.

I help, advise, support not cos I feel happy doing it, but is cos I know I can solve the situations he's always in, plus he told me, cos he wan me help out, and he asks for the help.

My fault, cos I dunno how to reject him, reject to help him.